Book Review: This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel
When I first stumbled upon This Is How It Always Is, I was immediately drawn in by the rich tapestry of family dynamics and the poignant exploration of identity. Written by Laurie Frankel, a mother herself, the story is grounded in her personal experiences and insights, and it deftly navigates the complexities of raising a transgender child. As someone who cherishes heartfelt novels that reflect contemporary societal issues, I couldn’t wait to dive into this sensitive and beautifully crafted narrative.
At its core, the book chronicles the life of the Walsh-Adams family, focusing predominantly on their youngest son, Claude, who embarks on a transformative journey of self-discovery. From wearing dresses to proclaiming his desire to be a girl, Claude’s experience is handled with such delicacy and warmth. Through the eyes of his loving parents, Rosie and Penn, we witness the balance between acceptance and the inevitable challenges that come with nurturing a child whose identity defies societal norms.
Frankel’s writing style is both lyrical and engaging, inviting readers to step into the world of the Walsh-Adams family. I found myself enthralled by her ability to blend humor with heartache. One moment I was laughing out loud at the chaotic antics of five brothers, and the next, I was wiping tears as Rosie wrestled with her fears for Poppy’s safety in a world that can sometimes feel unkind. Frankel’s portrayal of everyday life is so relatable, and her characters felt remarkably real. I often caught myself reflecting on my own family experiences, making the book all the more impactful.
One quote that resonated with me was Frankel’s observation on parenting: “no matter the issue, parenting always involves this balance between what you know, what you guess, what you fear, and what you imagine.” This sentiment encapsulates the essence of the book and serves as a reminder of the challenges every parent faces, regardless of their child’s identity. It reminded me that love transcends all barriers, and that in the end, our heart’s desires for our children boil down to acceptance and understanding.
The exploration of themes such as identity, family, and societal expectations is done with such grace. Frankel doesn’t provide concrete answers but instead offers a space for reflection. I particularly appreciated how she highlighted the importance of support within the family unit. The intricate dynamics between the siblings, including the way they respond to Claude’s transition, reflect the genuine complexities of interpersonal relationships.
I’d highly recommend This Is How It Always Is to anyone interested in LGBTQ+ literature, parenting, or simply anyone who appreciates a beautifully written story about love and acceptance. It’s a must-read for parents navigating their child’s unique journey, and it’s a poignant reminder for all of us to approach life with compassion and an open heart.
In closing, while the book tackles a weighty subject, it ultimately leaves readers with a sense of hope and an affirmation that love, in all its forms, is what will guide us through life’s uncertainties. This novel opened my eyes in ways I hadn’t expected, and I know it will stay with me for a long time to come.






